Monkey Soup

09:17 pm - Long Time No Post

So, what's news....

I took the Brutally Honest Personality Test.  Turns out I'm Boring.  BHPT: I'm so far ahead of you, it's not even funny.

We inurned Grandpa Lowry (my maternal grandfather) in Arlington National Cemetary on Monday.  The ceremony was brief and, well, ceremonial.  Sunday night I spent at Red Lobster with the family from 4:30 PM to closing.  Red Lobster was NOT ready for (a) our individual magnitudes, (b) our collective quantity or (c) our boisterousness.  Several people in surrounding tables were gracefully reseated by the wait-staff.  Good times.

I am on the road to no longer engineering machinery for work.  We (management and I) are looking at other ways that I can contribute to the company besides drawing every single nut and bolt that will be used to assemble a machine.  We'll see how that pans out.

I fly out Feb 14 to retrieve Shannon from Illinois.  Not a moment too soon, either.  I see that she has purchased hobo gloves.  It is only a matter of days until she has mastered red-and-white-checkered-cloth-tied-to-end-of-stick technology and begun wandering throughout the country eating baked beans from a can and running perl scripts for pocket change.

9:30 PM seems to be everything-comes-crashing-down time for me lately.  That wouldn't be so bad, but usually I still have a bunch of stuff to do after that (like pack for my trip back to VA).

Current Mood: Everything's Stupid Now.

04:15 pm - Last Few Days in the House

I will miss some things about N41deg46.760min X W88deg14.572min X 640 feet above sea level.  It's roomy, has a basement.  High ceilings.  Awesome faucets (oh, don't even pretend like faucets don't matter).  Fast internets.  Lots of windows.  It's been a great place to live.  If only it weren't out here in Illinois.

I'm off to Jersey tomorrow, returning on Friday.  The Packers will Pack on Saturday (Packers!  Woo!), and the Movers will Load on Monday.  The Maid Brigade comes that Tuesday, the carpet cleaners and furnace guy come on Wednesday, and then I drive away on Thursday, ne'er to return.*

I hope we find a tenant for this place by January 1, because if not it is going to make me very $AD :(

In any event, I'll be back in Virginia in 1.3 weeks.  I won't have any condiments, though, because Saturday was Pour Out Your Condiments Day.  I had forgotten how disgusting moving is.  Moving smells like pickles, A-1, soy sauce, and jam.

* Except for my 8-hour crime-free landlord training course some time in 2009.  I am hoping hoping hoping to be able to get out of that, since it will require a flight to IL, a rental car, a hotel, and (most likely) a day off work.

Current Mood: Freezing My Boys Off

03:42 pm - Bad News

I could survive for 51 seconds chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor

Created by Bunk Beds.net

03:25 pm - Early Voting / Purchase My Dwelling

Illinois offers excuse-free early voting.  Unlike Absentee Voting, you don't need to fabricate some excuse to do it, like "My dog will have passed away on election day, and I will be too sad to vote."

So I voted today.  It was a little rainy out, so I voted for the folks I thought were most likely to give me salty crunchy snacks.  Now I'm regretting my decision, and wish that I'd gone for the guy most likely to bring me a refreshing beverage.

Oh, NO!  What if I change my mind after the empty rhetoric of tonight's debate?  What have I done?

(Oh, I almost forgot.  I was on NPR's election map, and saw that they let you change state votes around and see who will win.  Well, if all of the "Tossup" states (NV, MO, FL, NC, VA, IN & OH) go for McCain, and the other states fall as called by NPR, OBiden still wins, but by a very narrow margin.)

An open letter to the whole world follows.

Dear Everyone:  BUY OUR HOUSE!  We cleaned it** just for you.  Thanks for your attention.

**Except for the broom closet (strangely enough), which is full of dust bunnies.  Don't look in there.

09:20 pm - IT'S....

It's an END UNIT!

So, Shannon and I are coming back to Charlottesville, right?  Right?  Oh, we didn't tell you?  Here's how it is...

October 25 - Sign lease on townhouse/apartment on Rolkin Rd in Pavilions at Pantops.  We'll do this in Virginia.
November Earlyish- Put our house on the market.
November 14-16: Our 8th anniversary (observed)
November 16.5-19:  Come to Virginia, get high speed internet set up, etc.
December 18: Load a U-Haul with Some Stuff.
December 19:  Drive truck & tow my car to Virginia.
December etc:  I live in Virginia.  Shannon remains in Illinois until the dwelling has been sold.
Februaryish/wehope:  Shannon's Triumphant Return to Virginia.

It's ON!

Current Mood: excited

08:29 pm - The Last Word

Okay, here's the last word on Sarah Palin.

She's a total RILF!

04:41 pm - How could I have missed this?

04:38 pm - My Junk Weighs Too Much

So anyway, professional movers charge you by the pound when you move.  This means I know how much our junk weighed a year ago (10,860 lb).  Assuming a constant rate of stuff aquisition of 4% per year, we now have about 11,300 lb of stuff.  That's a lot of stuff.  Some of it is books (okay, a lot of it is books), some of it is anvil, some milling machine, etc.  Mostly it's just *stuff* though.

The largest of the U-Haul trucks will Me-Haul only about 7,600 lb of stuff.  That leaves 3,700 lb of stuff that won't fit.  What to do with two tons (!) of extra stuff? 

[DELETED!]

The rest of this post has been deleted because it was so boring.  SO BORING!

03:20 pm - Major Life Changes Must Be In the Works

I can tell change is in the wind because I have made a spreadsheet.  I do this before any major change.  It helps me organize my thoughts, and it lets me flex my Crazy Math Muscles.  Yes, I have CMMs, pretty much to the exclusion of Actual Muscles.

The spreadsheet's just called "C'Ville," and it has labels like "How much money do I have just laying around?" ($5.46 in small change in my laptop bag) and "How much is some crummy realtor going to stick me for when we sell our place?" (oh, plenty plenty) and "Do these alleged Pavilions at Pantops townhomes exsit anywhere except for on paper and the internets?" (unknown) and "Where does this highway lead to?" (Hell, possibly also Dairy Queen) and "My God!  What have I done?" (I have let the days go by).

Anyone down there know if construction is actually underway at the aforementioned Pavilions at Pantops (off Rt 250, North of the downtown Mall or something)?

09:07 pm - Scripted: A Morning's Travel - By Fred

10:18 am - Real Life, the High School Dream, etc.

Real Life:  Celebrated my 31st birthday on Sunday by playing Soul Calibur IV & Gears of War, going out for tasty steak, browsing junk at the Great American Yard Sale, and generally having a relaxing day.  Shannon didn't work at all either, which made the day extra nice.

Fantasy Life:  Dodge is offering the 2009 Challenger SRT8 with a 6.1 L, 425 HP engine and a 6-speed manual transmission for ONLY $45K.  A bargain!  Actually, the base model is only $21K, but has a weenie little V6 connected to a 4-speed slush-box, and is slower in all respects than the PT Cruiser.

High School Dream:  Last night's high school dream was more about getting to school than being at school.  I got there in a big hurry, and when I arrived in the parking lot they scanned my RFID badge to determine what classes I had.  They gave me my class schedule and an appallingly complete history of my recreational activities, including what movies I've watched, music I've listened to, everything I've ever purchased, and my driving habits.  I broke a lot of traffic laws getting to the school, and The Man was not happy about it.  I never did make it into the school - I was too dumbfounded to discover that they had a record of the time I accidentally rented Sable: Unleashed instead of Twin Dragons from Blockbuster in 1997.  I later watched Twin Dragons - I have to say the Sable movie was more enjoyable, had a deeper plot and better special effects.

11:21 am - My Dream Science Project

So I had my first real Design of Experiments dream last night. Okay, it wasn't technically DoE, because that deals more with how many test subjects you need and all the stuff that is required to make your study statistically significant. But I did design an experimental apparatus for collecting the condensed combustion gasses of some sort of valuable liquid. I have no idea what the liquid was or what this byproduct was for, but seemed pretty important. The basic apparatus, as developed and installed in my garage, looked like this: 
( Contains Largish Pictures... )

Current Mood: calm

03:49 pm - Got a crush on a pretty pistol

Should I tell her that I feel this way?

I would say that Marilyn Manson's album "Lest We Forget" (opening lines above) is my most listened to album of all time.  Second place is "Clones" by The Neptunes (N.E.R.D.).

I think that I work at peak efficiency under the influence of these albums.  First, I can turn them up so loud that I don't here my phone.  Second, I can sing along without using much brain power.  It does take some brain power, though - those parts of my brain usually devoted to internal whining, wasting time, web surfing, posting to LJ, etc get repurposed to dredging up lyrics.  This leaves what I'll call the "smart bits" to do the serious engineering work that needs to be done.

There's a problem, though, like when Ray calls you up, and you forget to pause the music, and the phone is right next to the speaker, and then Ray's all like, "Tell me, Fred, are we or are we not all stars now in the dope show?  I just called you because, you know, I wonder these things through the day."

Inquiring Fred Wants to Know - what is your most-listened-to album (not your favorite, mind you - just the one that you have played the most)?

09:03 am - Telegrams & Cryptonomicon

I just re-read Cryptonomicon, for maybe the 3rd or 4th time.  There's a section in which a modern-day character reflects on the nature of telegrams from WWII and how their brief, choppy style, while seeming "hokey" today were the epitome of modern communications at the time.  [That sentance is all comma-ed up wrong, but there's just no fixing it.]

I only know the content of one telegram - the one reporting the successful proposal of my grandfather Tom to my grandmother* Anna (Nan).

TOM SPIGOT STOP NANTUCKET STOP

When I first saw a copy of the old telegram, I thought, "Gee whiz, that's a funny way to put it!" (I was nine at the time), but it's really grown on me in the last 22 years.

NO OTHER NONBORING EXPERIENCES TO RELATE STOP TELEGRAM STYLE SEEMS TO OFFER OPPORTUNITIES FOR CLEVERNESS STOP AM UNABLE TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF MEDIUM AT THIS TIME STOP

*Okay, step-grandfather and step-grandmother, but what difference does it really make?

08:49 am - Ladies and gentlemen...

I give you... 

01:15 pm - You Will (get tired of me telling you to) See The Dark Knight

I had a few hours to kill in Green Bay two nights ago, so I went to see The Dark Knight with my fellow traveler and co-worker, Frank.

I have tried to sufficiently put forth the degree with which it inspired awe without resorting to the type of filthy language which permeates our culture.  Honestly, I gave it my best shot.  I failed.

It was FUCKING awesome! 

I mean, seriously.  It was between 5 and 10 times as good as I thought it would be.  I am now sad that Heath Ledger is dead.

It was so good that I don't even know what else I can say about it.  I will say that it was even better than the first one (I needn't even mention ...Returns through ...Begins - of course it was better than those).

04:34 pm - Letters About Engineering

I couldn't have said it better myself. 

10:13 am

My name's Fred and I would like to officially endorse The Orange Box (and by extension, the XBox 360).  It seems like just two days ago that I purchased it, and since then it has improved my life in so many ways.

My left thumb, which had begun to atrophy from lack of use, is now back in tip top condition.  I use my right thumb for the space bar, so it's never really been a problem.

A dangerous condition - that of an empty receptacle on the power strip - had been remedied.  With all receptacles full, that power strip is now a safe toy for any toddlers that crawl behind the TV.

Free time that might otherwise tempt me towards possibly self-injurious behavior (such as smoking crack, taunting rabid hyenas, or sleeping) is now safely consumed.

The process of converting interest-earning (and therefor tax-liability-generating) funds into optical media is well underway.  I am grateful to those cats a Microsoft for their sound financial advice.

09:02 am - ohmygodohmygodohmygod

my xbox 360 is arriving today and i don't have any games for it yet so i have to go out and get some games does anyone know what are the good games for the 360 but if i go out at lunch to pick up a few used games what if the ups guy shows up then and i have to sign for the package ohmygodohmygod!

Ahem.

Good bye,  books.  Hellooooooo The Orange Box.

02:42 pm - Two strange dreams

Last night I dreamed that Shannon and I spoke at length with Hillary Clinton.  We told her all about how good Jinx's ribs are, how if you just shake them a little, the meat falls right off the bone.  As she was leaving, she said something really nice to us, and then Shannon said something really nice back.  It was my turn to say something really nice, so I told her that I hoped her defiance of the Democratic party establishment  would serve as an inspiration to our daughter, should we have one.  Except that I hoped my daughter's defiance would hold off until I was no longer the establishment to be defied.

The night before, I had my usual high school dream - you know the one where you're back in high school because it turned out you needed to do X, Y, or Z to really graduate...  I have variations on this dream every couple of months, and it usually goes like this:

The HS administrators have found something wanting in my academic record, so I'm back in school.  I don't know where my classes are supposed to be.  I don't know what classes I'm in.  Sometimes I can't find my locker, or can't open it when I do.  Everything is going wrong, and I'm usually embarrassed about something.  Usually I wake up sweating and realize with _profound_ relief that I still have a job and a high school and college diploma.

This dream was different.  I knew that I still had my job and college degree, and in fact I had been given a high school diploma at graduation.  I was back because I had discovered on my own that I was short by four classes.  I started out in foreign language class, which was French, Spanish, and Latin all at the same time in different parts of a large room.  I considered taking Spanish (since it would be useful), but then realized that I had not signed up for any classes yet.  I went to the office (for the first time in any of these dreams), and asked if I really had to take any classes and if so, could I take any class I wanted.  The office staff didn't seem to know, and I was blown away by the possibility that I could take Ceramics and Photography (plus two others) every day.

For the first time EVER I was a little sad to wake up from my high school dream.  I would dearly love to take a hands-on class of some sort, particularly ceramics.  I don't take any classes now because of my work/travel schedule.  The real thing of it is that my schedule will be like this (at least 3 days every 2 weeks away, usually but not always Tues-Thurs) for as long as I work my current job in New Jersey.  what a fucking conundrum.

That's not where I was going with this post.  I was going to: I fought the High School Dream, and I won.  Yes yes.  (I heard a report on The High School Dream on NPR - their dream expert was unable to provide a satisfactory explanation for its nearly universal occurance.)